It was a normal hot, sticky Thursday in Florida when it happened. On my way to quilting day with my friends I was heading down the road in my van. My 2001 Van Chevy Astro Van. We’ve been having trust issues in our relationship but working on it. I had no reason to suspect I’d be left worse than stranded (that happened earlier this year).  It’s in the maintenance stage of its life and things happen but what occurred was beyond my limit.

It was 10 am so traffic was light although all this happened just before a busy intersection. I was about to turn left into the parking lot of the Quilt Shop when suddenly my van turned off. No engine, no power steering. Just a woman and her van –  drifting. Nothing. It was all very scary. I’m looking at the on-coming traffic and where I’m heading. Now to reiterate the traffic was light so that was good but heading in the wrong direction with your car dead and drifting is NOT good! I realize that I’m in the position to crash into those cars in front of me or that pole if I don’t do something. Somehow I managed to steer the van onto this slight hill alongside a building and away from the obstacles. I am so lucky I could do that. While it wouldn’t have been catastrophic, it would have been a wreck. So okay, good. I stopped the momentum of the drama. I was able to restart what now felt like the Van of Betrayal. I put it in reverse and got to my destination. I waited there in the parking lot and pulled myself together before I walked in to greet my friends. No crying. Spent time stitching with the girls, had a few smiles, got to see some lovely work then left a bit early.

That whole time I was thinking about this relationship and the emotional toll its been taking on me.  I appreciate that it’s not costing me anything month-by-month but the emotional drain is costing me so much more. I came home, called the bank for to see what I could qualify for on a car loan, got the ball rolling then took a nap. I woke up and headed to the car dealership. I already knew what I wanted and could afford so it wasn’t a big deal.

I left the Van of Betrayal at the curb. There’s a new little white car in the driveway.